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Life is moving by. I am not forgetting Dad but time has helped to remove the pain of grieving. We talk of Dad and things that he did or said. We drive his truck on occasion. There are seasonal flowers replaced at the gravesite. Fall now, yellows, golds, reds. Soon, we will replace them with Christmas flowers or greenery.
Lately I’ve been thinking of my own death. I am dreaming that I am dying. Actually it doesn’t feel as if I’m dreaming, just…half asleep half awake. The episodes make wme wonder if I really am going to die soon. Like, a foreshadowing, forewarning…etc… Guess we won’t know until I wake up tomorrow. If I do.
And Dad was in it. Also there was an impending flood. I remember seeing him standing there, waiting for us to pick him up or something. I dreamed we had to get these numbers for some type of registration. I remember knowing that the water would rise up to the level of the sky and we would die…like the world was in a self contained box. I wonder if that is what dad felt when he knew he was dying.