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Today, I saw someone who reminded me of Dad. I was at a wrestling meet of my youngest son and as I glanced over at one of the coaches in the corner I saw my Dad. The same white hair and high cheekbones. The same white hair I am getting and the same high cheekbones my oldest boy has. Those cheekbones only showed up so hollow and defined after Dad lost weight during his bout with his cancer. I was so startled I almost called out and said, “Dad!” What are you doing?” I caugth myself. The man really looked nothing like my Dad when you started staring. So strange that I hadn’t done this for such a long time.
Dad has been gone 3 years and 6 months. Time passes so quickl
How ironic that Fathers Day is one day after the 1 year Anniversary of my Fathers death. Flag day, June 14th will be one year. In some ways it seems longer, in others it seems just a few months ago. There is no “blunting” of the pain, just a gradual acceptance. No one can describe in full how it is to lose a parent. I liken it to seeing a beautiful view of the mountains, getting your camera, and being unable to capture the moment. There is no way to tell anyone else the full blood and guts truth of how you are doing, or how you are feeling. But, the support of those around, is appreciated AND so very necessary. Without a hug, or word of encouragement, one would simply dry up, shrivel into a shell, a husk of nerves.
I carry on…sigh…
Today Dad had a Dr appointment in Kearney. The oncologist decided he needed to have his heart checked out. See if the fluid problem lies within that area. He doesn’t think cancer is the culprit. So…now we pursue that. Good report really. The chest x-ray showed fluid in the left lung, as always but no tumor growth. We are happy but remain watchful.